i was about to sit on the toilet bowl when i saw something at the corner of my eye ... i looked up and i thought it was a big black ass moth but to my horror ir was A HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE ASS FRIGGGIN COCKROACH WITH SUper long tendrils.. i swear the length of it's body was the length of my middle finger combined with the feelers it was as long as my hand. I BOUNCed off the toilet bowl and HOLLLered Down the stairs.. but i needed to piss so i went to my mom's room to tinkle and thought for a while.. "Washington, we have an emergency, a huGE ASS crisis"
i went to the room and it was so weird cos daniel called and i tld him i had aROACH in the toilet and i almst trapped it in a plastic container but it was tooo close for comfort and it slipped off to where my toiletries were...
he offered to come down but i said " no, it's okay,,.i'll call my dad"
my dad was next dr playin mahjong,
"daddddy, there is a SUper huge cockroach in my toilet, im scared.."
" ask the maid la"
"no, i dunno how to tell her in bahasa there is a cockroach, what if she's scared of cockroaches?"
"then u expect me to go up and catch it for u?"
"yeess pleaseee???"
" toooot"
HE HUNG up on me!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted to cry really cos i watched pirates of the caribbean the night before and i dreamt of squirmy sea creatures, i wasn't exactly in the mood for catching a haMSTEr-size cockroach.
WHY DONT I HAVE A brother to calll??
he wouldnt have hung up on me im sure..

i heard somebody close a cupboard downstairs and it was Tri my indonesian maid, i asked her to come upstairs and i asked her to save me i pointed to where the culprit was hiding and i pointed to her thepicture of a mosquito on the shieldtox can and showed her feelers with my two fingers on my head and i ran to the dooor... she nodded her head and starts removing the toiletries one by one and she wa MEAN cos she started laughing cos she couldnt find anything..then when she saw it she made funny noises and guess what??? SHE HELD THE DAMN CREATURE IN HER HAND!
i screamed and ask her not to come near me , i told her to do whatever she wanted with it and i ran down to my mom's rooom to seeek for cover.. she kept laughing at me cos she must have thought i was some kinda mental case...oh mann she hasn't seen me yet if i actually do see a lizard or a snake..
i think she released it in the backyard, i dun even dare loook at my toilet now.. what if the motherfugger laid titanic eggs somewhere, maybe she was like the queeen of some colony... urghhhhhhhh